i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
