At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
