How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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