you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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