the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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