Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
