I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
