Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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