And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
