Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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