Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
