lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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