He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize