I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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