Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
