Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
