I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Randomize
