put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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