You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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