i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
