Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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