Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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