): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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