please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
