So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
