Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize