she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
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you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
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i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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