i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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