we have officially lost it.
Jerry, you need to find god
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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