I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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