I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
