Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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