I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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