Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
