i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
