Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize