Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
