I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
