I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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