Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I wear drunk well.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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