Where did you get a picture of my penis
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
