8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
