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Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
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