i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going