It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out