So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Randomize
