I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.