Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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