All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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