Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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