is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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