Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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