nut hugger
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
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I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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