last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
