his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
