Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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