Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
