I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My legs feel like baby dolphins
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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