Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
