If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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